It was for a lady I knew only briefly but was asked to accompany a friend to the ceremony. This lady was from a Reserve up North and she was a well respected Elder in her community who moved to Winnipeg to complete her Masters at U of M when she died suddenly. Heard the mourning song they play for the family left behind. Kind of rips your heart out and I won't soon forget it. In the words of Crowfoot:
"What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset."
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Bear Lodge Continued
Awoke this morning feeling the lesson of yesterday's experience. It is time to put my colours on my ceremony dress. I feel very strongly that this is what I need to do. That person was pushing me to come out of myself and this is what came to me today.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Bear Lodge
Today I found myself inside a Bear Lodge at the request of a loved one. I told her this was going to be all about her... I would be praying for her as it was her birthday and were celebrating this milestone in her life. But then things don't always come as we plan and I told her afterwards she got 5 minutes of my praying at best.
After finding my place inside the Lodge I noticed bear fur attached to a string directly above me. The one and only piece of bear fur in the Lodge was dangling 6 inches above my head. Surprise.
The Lodge started and I began to focus on my friend when that person beside me began to do what they do. Those ones that come to challenge us, to help us heal was sitting beside me. I could no longer pray for my friend as this person to my right was taking up all my concentration. I was getting irritated by his actions. Although he was quite funny, the humour was lost on me in the intense heat and after the third round had to leave.
While we were preparing to go home I told my friend although I knew who his type was I didn't understand why he was sitting beside me, focussing on me, distracting me. I didn't need healing. The majority of the people in the Lodge were participating in an aboriginal addiction program and many came from abusive backgrounds Although I too came from an abusive background it feels like it happened to another person as I only remember it and no longer feel it as I did in my youth. The woman I am today replaced the broken girl of the past long ago and i am more thankful for this than I could ever convey in words. I hope one day those people will be separated from the pain that grips them today and that they will one day be free.
During the ride home my friend and I were talking about our childhood experiences and I told her I don't know how I ended up like this and that I felt I didn't deserve to have this good life I have now. She turned to me and said " So you didn't need healing eh?".
After finding my place inside the Lodge I noticed bear fur attached to a string directly above me. The one and only piece of bear fur in the Lodge was dangling 6 inches above my head. Surprise.
The Lodge started and I began to focus on my friend when that person beside me began to do what they do. Those ones that come to challenge us, to help us heal was sitting beside me. I could no longer pray for my friend as this person to my right was taking up all my concentration. I was getting irritated by his actions. Although he was quite funny, the humour was lost on me in the intense heat and after the third round had to leave.
While we were preparing to go home I told my friend although I knew who his type was I didn't understand why he was sitting beside me, focussing on me, distracting me. I didn't need healing. The majority of the people in the Lodge were participating in an aboriginal addiction program and many came from abusive backgrounds Although I too came from an abusive background it feels like it happened to another person as I only remember it and no longer feel it as I did in my youth. The woman I am today replaced the broken girl of the past long ago and i am more thankful for this than I could ever convey in words. I hope one day those people will be separated from the pain that grips them today and that they will one day be free.
During the ride home my friend and I were talking about our childhood experiences and I told her I don't know how I ended up like this and that I felt I didn't deserve to have this good life I have now. She turned to me and said " So you didn't need healing eh?".
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Mukluks
My search so far has led to a dead end, so putting it out there that I would like to be taught how to make the kind of mukluks I am looking for. Ask and you shall receive?
Friday, December 25, 2009
Cougar and Lion Dream
Out my back screen door I could see a cougar relaxing over top of my umbrella style clothes line. I had a pet lion in the house and I was scared it would sense the cougar in the back yard and attack. As I tried to close the back door I wondered why was I not afraid of the huge lion and how odd I should have this as a pet. The back door would not close so there was only a screen door to separate the cougar on the outside and the lion and me on the inside. There was some kind of thickness between it and the screen door and the hinge came off. I was trying to press the door shut as hard as I could at the same time yelling for my husband to quickly fix the door. The lion stirred suddenly and I knew it had now picked up the cougar's scent and it came racing up the basement stairs to attack. I got out of the way just in time and woke up.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Today's Ceremony
The ex apologized for everything a year ago and he has continued to be supportive of the life I have with my loving family. He says he is glad I am happy in my life. I sense his sincerity by his words and actions. His life has been filled with addiction and drama. And there has been a lot of darkness. He has a fragile heart so I wanted to offer prayer to Grandmother and Grandfather to help guide him in the direction of the good road. I wanted to return the goodwill that he has shown towards me.
The Lodge was so very hot this time. I know what the heat represents and there is no longer any fear for my physical health.
Ceremony was strong and powerful. There were many who needed doctoring today and nine Sundancers were called in to assist. All the drummers participated as well as the whistle blowers and the pipe carriers. Bear medicine was passed around and I put some over my heart to help heal the emotional stuff that I experienced so long ago with the ex. After 4 rounds we exited the Lodge and as I exited I felt a weakness come over me. I sat on my towel outside the Lodge as my body recovered. Releasing the past exhausted my body . I realized while I was praying for him during ceremony I was receiving healing in return. Meegwetch.
The Feast was fabulous too.
The Lodge was so very hot this time. I know what the heat represents and there is no longer any fear for my physical health.
Ceremony was strong and powerful. There were many who needed doctoring today and nine Sundancers were called in to assist. All the drummers participated as well as the whistle blowers and the pipe carriers. Bear medicine was passed around and I put some over my heart to help heal the emotional stuff that I experienced so long ago with the ex. After 4 rounds we exited the Lodge and as I exited I felt a weakness come over me. I sat on my towel outside the Lodge as my body recovered. Releasing the past exhausted my body . I realized while I was praying for him during ceremony I was receiving healing in return. Meegwetch.
The Feast was fabulous too.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Cougar Dream and Bear Choker Necklace
DREAM:
The cougar appeared right behind me and I was trying to get inside a structure, it was sort of like a subway car where the driver sits. My right arm was resting on my lower back trying to sense how close the cougar was as I was about to go through the door. I could feel the skin of its nose and it's breath on my hand. I was trying to remain calm so it would not sense my fear and attack. I managed to get into the subway car and quickly closed the door on the cougar. It's face appeared in the side window, I closed the blind, then it went to the front window and I did the same thing. It went to the window on the left. I closed that one too and then woke up.
I only had one other cougar dream prior to last night's dream which I may have written about on this blog some time ago. It took place in between the sickly bear dream and the 3 Elders in my kitchen dream. It was the series of these 3 dreams that finally prompted me to go see the Elder at my first Sweat. The Elder told me the Cougar represents the courage to do what I should be doing. I can still see the Elder's face as he looked at me and casually asked "So, what is it you should be doing?", as though I had a clue.
INTERPRETATION:
Yesterday I received a bear choker necklace in the mail from my sister ( the one who inadvertently started me on this native journey). It is made of natural material and bone and she recently acquired this from a Navajo person. It is a cherished gift and I explained to her I have not felt connected to the native stuff for some time as there are other things going on that is consuming my energy and focus. It was nice to receive this as a reminder to not stray from my heritage. As an aside I explained to her how I feel I am drifting away from my respected profession and feel a calling to do something that I struggle with due to my own prejudices and fear of what others would think of me. I would feel like a 'flake' to turn away from my career in order to persue this other dream that is linked to our environment and healthy living. It's fitting the cougar came to me last night to say I needed the courage to do what I should be doing.
The cougar appeared right behind me and I was trying to get inside a structure, it was sort of like a subway car where the driver sits. My right arm was resting on my lower back trying to sense how close the cougar was as I was about to go through the door. I could feel the skin of its nose and it's breath on my hand. I was trying to remain calm so it would not sense my fear and attack. I managed to get into the subway car and quickly closed the door on the cougar. It's face appeared in the side window, I closed the blind, then it went to the front window and I did the same thing. It went to the window on the left. I closed that one too and then woke up.
I only had one other cougar dream prior to last night's dream which I may have written about on this blog some time ago. It took place in between the sickly bear dream and the 3 Elders in my kitchen dream. It was the series of these 3 dreams that finally prompted me to go see the Elder at my first Sweat. The Elder told me the Cougar represents the courage to do what I should be doing. I can still see the Elder's face as he looked at me and casually asked "So, what is it you should be doing?", as though I had a clue.
INTERPRETATION:
Yesterday I received a bear choker necklace in the mail from my sister ( the one who inadvertently started me on this native journey). It is made of natural material and bone and she recently acquired this from a Navajo person. It is a cherished gift and I explained to her I have not felt connected to the native stuff for some time as there are other things going on that is consuming my energy and focus. It was nice to receive this as a reminder to not stray from my heritage. As an aside I explained to her how I feel I am drifting away from my respected profession and feel a calling to do something that I struggle with due to my own prejudices and fear of what others would think of me. I would feel like a 'flake' to turn away from my career in order to persue this other dream that is linked to our environment and healthy living. It's fitting the cougar came to me last night to say I needed the courage to do what I should be doing.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)