Bear Lodge

Today I found myself inside a Bear Lodge at the request of a loved one. I told her this was going to be all about her... I would be praying for her as it was her birthday and were celebrating this milestone in her life. But then things don't always come as we plan and I told her afterwards she got 5 minutes of my praying at best.

After finding my place inside the Lodge I noticed bear fur attached to a string directly above me. The one and only piece of bear fur in the Lodge was dangling 6 inches above my head. Surprise.

The Lodge started and I began to focus on my friend when that person beside me began to do what they do. Those ones that come to challenge us, to help us heal was sitting beside me. I could no longer pray for my friend as this person to my right was taking up all my concentration. I was getting irritated by his actions. Although he was quite funny, the humour was lost on me in the intense heat and after the third round had to leave.


While we were preparing to go home I told my friend although I knew who his type was I didn't understand why he was sitting beside me, focussing on me, distracting me. I didn't need healing. The majority of the people in the Lodge were participating in an aboriginal addiction program and many came from abusive backgrounds Although I too came from an abusive background it feels like it happened to another person as I only remember it and no longer feel it as I did in my youth. The woman I am today replaced the broken girl of the past long ago and i am more thankful for this than I could ever convey in words. I hope one day those people will be separated from the pain that grips them today and that they will one day be free.

During the ride home my friend and I were talking about our childhood experiences and I told her I don't know how I ended up like this and that I felt I didn't deserve to have this good life I have now. She turned to me and said " So you didn't need healing eh?".