Dream

I was walking alone on a path and there was green grass as far as I could see. It was a rolling landscape. There were some trees but it was mostly open landscape. I think this was somebody's property and it was a huge piece of land. I had arrived a day before and was given a tour of the route that I am now walking on. It might have been the owner giving the tour or someone who worked there but I don't know for sure. There were many animals about on my walk as there had been the day before. The tour guide said if I come across a bear I should be calm but that they rarely interact with people so I probably wouldn't see one. As I was walking on the path I came almost face to face with a cub. I could see mother bear to my right and she was lumbering towards me but not very quickly. I turned around and started to walk in the other direction. I tried to stay calm but couldn't help but think that I was going to die right there as there was nobody else around to help should it attack me.It came behind me and I could feel its breath at my back. I knew it would pick up on my fear and attack. I look up to my right and in the distance was another large animal and it was telling me to walk in large swaying movements and not in a straight line like I was doing. It did not tell me in words. I don't know what kind of animal it was but I started doing as it said and then I woke up.

My first thought upon awakening was how wonderful to have a dream after all this time! It didn't feel as real as the other dreams ( I don't know how to explain it any better than that) except for the part where the bear was breathing on me and because of that I am counting it as one of those dreams.

Now to give thanks for this dream.

(Part 1) Indigenous Native American Prophecy (Elders Speak part 1)

"Plant something. That is the first step".

Perhaps it is that Old Blood Memory Thing Again

A few days ago I came across a video of a an American hunter and her young son who had just shot a squirrel. They showed the squirrel writhing before it died and as it was happening the mom was congratulating her son, but in a manner that was in bad taste. The video then went on to show her preparing a meal out of that squirrel, all the while mocking and making little jokes about the squirrel.

Today on the radio I listened to a program about a Scottish Sheep farmer who offers tours to school children so they can watch him prepare an ancient sheep dish. Part of the process involves boiling the sheep's head. At one point the kids run around with the sheep's head on a stick and there is much laughter but in the same kind of tone as in the example above.

What both these stories have in common is the disconnect, complete lack of respect, and no giving thanks for the animal that had its life taken so that we may eat and live.

Invitation to Sweat

Ask and you shall receive. This is what comes to mind as just last week I was thinking I need to go to a Sweat, and a few days afterwards the invitation came.

I went in search of guidance of a lighter nature. "Plant something. That is the first step" I heard Red Crow say in an interview around the time of my awakening of the interconnection of growing food and its connection to The Great Mystery. My growth in the garden has led to the desire to plant as my ancestors did, using seeds cultivated from the past, and I figured a good way to find answers is to attend Lodge. There must be people who still have this skill and this is the path I am on presently.

The answers or messages we receive in the Lodge do not always correspond to the questions at hand, but rather to something we are experiencing but not necessarily aware we need a teaching about .

The topic of this Sweat was gratitude. Strange. Gratitude is something I have been thinking A LOT about lately. It baffles me because I should be over it by now, yet somehow it continues to grow inside me and brings many gifts. The person of my past, the same one who was the source of my terrifying bear dreams, who apologized some 20 years later has given me a gift I could never ever have imagined. The resulting feeling of gratitude has grown to enhance my entire outlook on life. My heart has unloaded a heavy burden and my spirit is free. He said it meant so very much to him that he has received the gift of forgiveness, but the opportunity to forgive means equally as much. This is what I have learned and have been thinking about lately.

This Sweat was the first one I have been to that is run by women and is for women only. I was told it was a more gentle kind of Lodge than some others I had been to. The first thing you notice upon entering is that it has been decorated by a woman. Ribbon neatly crisscross the ceiling of the Lodge with matching blankets covering the ground. I looked specifically for a Bear sign for which there was none. I even had to look up to make sure there wasn't surprise bear fur dangling over my head like last time. Nada. Nothing. I still look for the Bear even though it doesn't chase me in my dreams anymore.

And so the Lodge proceeded in a gentle manner.....then round three arrived and the bear grease came out. I felt whole and didn't feel I needed it for healing but put it over my heart anyway as I had done in a previous Sweat. I smiled inside knowing the Bear still surprises me with its visits but the nature if its visits has changed. Drumming signaled the beginning of the bear song and a voice from the bottom of my stomach rose and my voice roared. The Lodge became hot, HOT but the singing kept me from struggling against it. For the first time the strength of the Bear worked through me as my voice joined other strong voices as we sang for another's healing. The Bear of my past is gone. My fear is gone.

Drum Dream

I was somewhere outside where there was some kind of gathering. It felt as though the event was just about to start and people were mingling about. There was much fuss about my dress. I said I don't need one as I already have a dress, the ribbon skirt (close enough). Someone outside of my line of vision, passed a dress and people were raising their arms to carefully receive this dress as they passed it person to person towards me. There seemed to be some kind of urgency of the people passing this dress to me. When it reached me I could see it was made from drum material ( hide). The print on the dress was of a drum I have seen. I could see the dress did not fit me and thought I must give it to a woman I know because it looked to be about her size.

The morning after this dream I went outside and immediately remembered the drum stick hanging in the tree, the one I was supposed to remember to remove 12 days ago. My first thought upon remembering the stick was hoping that it would not be there. It was there. After undoing the knot of the twine I held the stick in my hands and noticed it had a nice fresh feel to it. I placed it in the house just inside the door and didn't think of it again ( I was rushing about as it is harvest time and there is much to do in the yard). Perhaps I should have been able to make the connection of the drum dream and the drum stick, but I did not.

The morning after that I was in the shower washing off the swampy mud from my feet after a particularly refreshing muddy run, and not thinking about anything except how well the muck sticks to skin even after standing in the shower for 10 minutes, when this thought as loud as a voice came to mind and said it is time to contact the drum lady. The drum lady has mentioned on at least 2 occasions within the last year that I should come to make a drum with her. She is the same lady in the dream who would fit the drum dress perfectly. But I only made the connection at the moment the voice disturbed my leisurely shower. Ha, but I finally did get the connection, so there!

There is more.....

Upon completion of this post I just considered another connection. The drum design of the dress in my dream, taken from the drum I have actually seen, was at that time being drummed by a woman I do not know who was singing with a bunch of other women with drums...get this...The Bear song (Cree version). I kid you not. I am so slow on making these connections that it is no wonder my dreams have practically come to a screeching halt.

Awhile ago I bought a drum stick. There was a bunch of them made by grade 4 aboriginal students to help support an upcoming field trip. The teacher was at the table selling them and I did not get a good feel from him...like he was not balanced or something. It happens sometimes that I get these strong feelings, something in my gut and I felt this aversion soon after he started talking. I looked through the sticks made by the talented students and finally picked a beautiful beige and blue one. During this time other people came to the table and tested a desired stick on the drum. I liked how these people could tell a good stick from a bad sounding stick and yet I could not hear the difference! I picked my stick because of the colours and the feel of it. I paid up and as I was walking away the teacher calls out to me to say the stick is very special because he made it himself. Well isn't that just great. I have some kind of intuition I guess.

Not long afterwards I was instructed to hang the stick in a tree for 4 days to cleanse it. I just got around to hanging it in the tree today. If it is not there after 4 days then it was not meant to be mine.

Mourning Song

It is true, what he said. Red Crow was once asked how would someone start to get in touch with what is important in life. "Plant something. That is the first connection." When you feel a connection to the earth (our mother), the real world, you inevitably become more affected by the negative/ foolish impacts that occur at the hands of the powerful to it and to all living beings. And so this happened again last night. I am talking about harsh chemicals being spewed into our neighbourhoods in the hopes of ridding ourselves of mosquitos. Living in a flood plain this is an impossible task. But they spray and spray again, never telling us of the consequences. Today, in my sadness, I sat with a drummer and we drummed on the big drum, Grandmother Drum. We started with the mourning song, followed with the wolf song, the bear song for courage for what I should be doing (this comes up again?), finishing with the all encompassing earth song. Am I becoming a 'crazy' environmentalist, or finding a stronger bond with my aboriginal roots? I think it is the latter.