Red Sucker Lake, a reserve known only to me by reputation. I've been told the first thing you see upon arrival ( by plane, there are no roads) is "Welcome to Hell" painted on the side of a building. Reserves are often very poor and quality of living conditions deplorable, so imagine my surprise when a radio announcer thanked a 12 year old girl from this reserve, and 4 of her friends for collecting $400 from her neighbours to donate to Haiti. They went door to door in their reserve and the people dug deep into their pockets to help others across the globe. As an Elder said upon hearing this, " we were brought up to give to others in greater need than ourselves".

Pipe Ceremony

It was for a lady I knew only briefly but was asked to accompany a friend to the ceremony. This lady was from a Reserve up North and she was a well respected Elder in her community who moved to Winnipeg to complete her Masters at U of M when she died suddenly. Heard the mourning song they play for the family left behind. Kind of rips your heart out and I won't soon forget it. In the words of Crowfoot:

"What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset."

Bear Lodge Continued

Awoke this morning feeling the lesson of yesterday's experience. It is time to put my colours on my ceremony dress. I feel very strongly that this is what I need to do. That person was pushing me to come out of myself and this is what came to me today.

Bear Lodge

Today I found myself inside a Bear Lodge at the request of a loved one. I told her this was going to be all about her... I would be praying for her as it was her birthday and were celebrating this milestone in her life. But then things don't always come as we plan and I told her afterwards she got 5 minutes of my praying at best.

After finding my place inside the Lodge I noticed bear fur attached to a string directly above me. The one and only piece of bear fur in the Lodge was dangling 6 inches above my head. Surprise.

The Lodge started and I began to focus on my friend when that person beside me began to do what they do. Those ones that come to challenge us, to help us heal was sitting beside me. I could no longer pray for my friend as this person to my right was taking up all my concentration. I was getting irritated by his actions. Although he was quite funny, the humour was lost on me in the intense heat and after the third round had to leave.


While we were preparing to go home I told my friend although I knew who his type was I didn't understand why he was sitting beside me, focussing on me, distracting me. I didn't need healing. The majority of the people in the Lodge were participating in an aboriginal addiction program and many came from abusive backgrounds Although I too came from an abusive background it feels like it happened to another person as I only remember it and no longer feel it as I did in my youth. The woman I am today replaced the broken girl of the past long ago and i am more thankful for this than I could ever convey in words. I hope one day those people will be separated from the pain that grips them today and that they will one day be free.

During the ride home my friend and I were talking about our childhood experiences and I told her I don't know how I ended up like this and that I felt I didn't deserve to have this good life I have now. She turned to me and said " So you didn't need healing eh?".

Mukluks

My search so far has led to a dead end, so putting it out there that I would like to be taught how to make the kind of mukluks I am looking for. Ask and you shall receive?