Mourning Song

It is true, what he said. Red Crow was once asked how would someone start to get in touch with what is important in life. "Plant something. That is the first connection." When you feel a connection to the earth (our mother), the real world, you inevitably become more affected by the negative/ foolish impacts that occur at the hands of the powerful to it and to all living beings. And so this happened again last night. I am talking about harsh chemicals being spewed into our neighbourhoods in the hopes of ridding ourselves of mosquitos. Living in a flood plain this is an impossible task. But they spray and spray again, never telling us of the consequences. Today, in my sadness, I sat with a drummer and we drummed on the big drum, Grandmother Drum. We started with the mourning song, followed with the wolf song, the bear song for courage for what I should be doing (this comes up again?), finishing with the all encompassing earth song. Am I becoming a 'crazy' environmentalist, or finding a stronger bond with my aboriginal roots? I think it is the latter.

The Event

I completed my spiritual run in the ceremonial skirt running along the same route as the buffalo runners from years gone by. The first 6 miles were uphill ( I think its called a bute). Thankfully I did not know this until a few minutes before starting and so there was no time to get myself psyched out about it. We were told it was going to be a tough course and that we should call out our names for guidance when it becomes difficult, and to remember the runners before us. Do not focus on the body, I was was told, because the body will follow. Later, there came a point where I had to say to myself over and over again " Myskomyinganeekway" while my skirt flowed around me. And when I reached the top I could see around in all directions, not a road or a house in sight. I became joyful because I was still strong and I knew I was not alone. I finished the final 6 miles strong and joyful and could not believe it. But my time was 20 minutes longer than my slowest race, so I knew it was tough yet somehow I was shielded from it.

Later at the capturing ceremony, I was told I should to go to a certain location. He leaned in to say the name it has, is not the name the Pikani gave it ( out of respect I will refrain from disclosing the location). When something is very sacred it cannot be named. Then he told me, the girl who is still wondering if her dreams have left her, that this sacred spot is a place for dreams. I hope I get to visit there soon.