Name,Colours, and Clan

 Myscomyinganeekway.  Red Wolf Woman. This is the name that was given to me by the Elder at Red Willow Lodge. In his vision, he saw an old woman on a red path, he met her once before he said. Her face is very kind and she told him my spirit name. The colours of my spirit are:  red for the red path that I follow, blue for the sky, green for the earth, and yellow. This is what my spirit looks like in the spirit world.

Red Willow

This is where  I received my name, a year after I unwittingly planted 6 red willow in the backyard. I like the coincidence.

unprepared

I leave at  9 am tomorrow .  It's about 1.5 hours drive to the lodge. I wanted to feel more prepared.  I thought I'd feel something stir inside when buying the cloth, the gift, the dress, prepared food for the feast.  There have been no dreams, no great moments of insight.  My dreams brought me here in the first place  so why have they stopped now? 

 

Preparing for Sunday

In 4 days I will go and ask for my Indian name as instructed.  The motivation to go to the previous Sweat was to ask the elder about the meaning of my bear dreams...the last one disturbed me greatly, especially the cougar dream that came only days after it. Then as a grad finale of a dream,  3 older indian men dressed in full regalia are sitting in my kitchen. It was an 'enough is enough' kind of feeling so I went to seek guidance.  I was not prepared for the physical sensation of discomfort, the heat,  the thick smell of burning  sweetgrass (?), and being squished in the back of the Lodge in complete darkness.  I also felt completely out of place.  I felt white inside and out and I  had to leave the lodge after the first round. The only thing I feel strongly about is some mutant gene from my native past has been showing itself in my dreams for years.  A white lady with indian dreams....it's like having a grandparent who speaks only the old language but you are assimilated and cannot understand her.
After the last Sweat, the Elder said the bear was tying to tell me there is something I should be doing,  and the cougar represents the courage I need to have to do it.  He said I should come back next time with red cloth and ask for an Indian name and then things will become more clear to me.   I should be more prepared but I am preoccupied with the daily things of life and feel scattered.  In 4 days I have to gather up the strength to sit through the Sweat again.

Festival and an Awkward Moment

Only my eldest and I went this year.  She went for the  cabane a sucre and the toboggan slide,not the least bit interested in her heritage.  I love Festival.  I love how people speak to me in French and  I love that I can still (usually) understand it.  I loved visiting the cabins and hearing the stories of the fur traders and the Red River Settlement. We watched a woman give a demonstration on how to make pemmican. Knowing that my ancestors prepared and ate this made the demonstration all the more meaningful to me. 

The awkward moment came when I approached  a speaker who gave a talk on  Louis Reil . When  I realized he was the author of  the book Red River Rebellion, I just had to tell him my news.  In his book he made a few pretty good references of Captain George Fortney.  He was  jailed for fighting against the Metis. He was also tried  with the notorious Thomas Scott for attempting to drown their employer.  Basically an unsavory character..  So when I  approached the author and told him I am the great-great-great grandaughter of  Captain George Fortney, Professeur Bumstead  gave me the blankest of stares .  He must have wondered what the heck I was doing at a Metis festival and why I would come forward to admit  this.   I never had the chance to tell him Captain George Fortney had a Metis 'country wife' and that I am a result of that union.  It was truly embarrassing.  

Swan Creek

As I go about my days,  thoughts Swan Creek often come to mind.  It was the same way before finding Great Grandfather's (x3) grave site.

  Marie Elisabeth LaPointe, Great great Grandmother, Metis  born at Swan Creek Settlement 1870 (1 year before Treaty 2 was signed) and confirmed on her Metis Script.

Swan Creek is an area that  will  likely be difficult to access, but it is on Crown Land and we could probably get to it by canoe.  I have been unsuccessful in finding much info about this Indian Settlement except for the Treaty 2 signing, Aug 21, 1871  which can be found at: www.solon.org/Aboriginal/Canada/Treaty-2.html

 The chief of Swan Creek was  Sousonse (Little Long Ears) and he  signed this treaty in which the natives had to re-locate to a Reserve.  Although Marie Elisabeth spent her adult life in Winnipeg, assimilated and claiming to be of French Heritage only, her roots must have still been fairly close to the pure bloods to have been born in a settlement. I can't help but wonder if we are related to Chief Little Long Ears.  He must have had some kind of ears. Maybe he was one of the chiefs that came to me in the dream, shortly after the last bear dream.  Who knows.  I just feel the gentle urge to go to the spot.  My sister-in-law wants to join me in search of  Marie's birth area.  She  is going to bring her drum.  I might ask her to bring her drumming group.  This is the agenda for the Spring.  Maybe I will have more answers  if I am  fortunate enough to get an Indian name in a few weeks.  I feel mostly white inside and out, but the Elder encouraged me to ask for an Indian name.  I hope it works out.

This lady is the same one in the photo below, far right  taken with her sons and her husband  who is on the far left.

Remembering the Bear

It occurred to me today that I have been dreaming about the bear for 20 years.  It may have been longer but my first memory was when I was dating Bryan.  I no longer remember the dream contents, except that I was being chased.  It must have had a huge impact on me though, as I remember telling Bryan about it and he suggested I  tell his mom, which I did and she referred me to a colleague.  That colleague was 'out there'... too new age or something and i didn't get anything out of the visit.  I didn't know about the native stuff yet.  Anyway, that was the very beginning. All bear dreams basically the same, except for the last one about 4 months ago.   Because it was different and left me saddened when I awoke, I feel the bear is gone for good.  

What Darwin Didn't Know

Came across the Darwin article the other day  in the latest National Geographic magazine:

"He never understood, as the humble Morovian monk Gregor Mendel did, that an organism isn't a blend of its two parents at all, but the composite result of lots and lots of individual traits passed down by its father and mother from their own parents, and their grandparents before them".

 

I am part of great (x6) grandmother Angelique Assiniboine (Plains)and great grandmother (x5) Josephte Sauteux, Great grandfather(x4) Paul Boucher (Hudson Bay Guide), great grandmother (x4)LaReine Boucher(who remembered  when the Sioux came fresh from the Minnesota Massacre to her parent's home in search of food ), and great (x2) grandma Marie LaPointe (born on an Indian settlement at Swan Creek. She taught her grandson how to snare rabbits). 

A Turtle for a Change

DREAM:  My family was living somewhere with a lot of other people.  The floors were like those found in a public school or hospital and this dream took place in the hallway.  I noticed people were picking something off the floor to eat.  Some would spit it out.  I thought this was odd  but went about my business.  Later I saw my daughters in a room  and I went to chat with them.  I noticed they were piling up something dead just out of my view.  Then I noticed they were eating this  just as the others were and Olivia was spitting some of it it out.  They told me it was turtle. They were large turtle bodies.  They were without shell and they had about four or five of them piled up on the floor.  I was horrified and my youngest was trying to show me how to tell if it is a good one to eat or not.